Thank you for sharing this story about you father. I can relate because my Dad was the exact opposite of my Mom. I really couldn’t stand him, but my Mom asked me to look after him the day before she died. Even though she filed for divorce 3 times. He would go into the VA hospital for manic depression. My Mom always ended up staying with his sorry ass. She knew there was no way in hell my sister would do anything to help him after she was gone. My brother had mental health issues and he wasn’t a fan of my father either. My Dad’s brother who lived a few blocks away said, he didn’t deserve to have Kathleen (my Mom) as his wife. To say my father was wildly unpopular with my Mom’s friends and relatives would be true. I ended up helping care for him when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It was in Aug 1994 -Jan 2002 when he died. I called my sister to tell her he died. She said something about him being an asshole and how she didn’t want him buried anywhere near our Mom. His current wife donated his body to science. No funeral, no celebration of life because it turns out you need to be missed by someone to have those things. I did actually cry some when he died. I set up a few pictures of him on the table at my house in Berkeley and lit a candle. I have a few good memories of him and some abusive traumatic memories too. I hope his soul evolves and he learns to be a better person if there is such a thing as being reincarnated.
Thank you for this newsletter. The letters and your replies linger with me for quite some time after I’m done reading them. Through them I find new perspectives.
Dear Sugar means a lot to me. I know I’m not alone in that sentiment.
I wonder how you'll answer that mother. I like that you know it's an impossible question, yet are still brave enough to take it on. I hope your words bring her some comfort.
Cheryl--thank you for the image of the door behind which I've been crouching for over 50 years, and for showing me that I've been the strength in my own life-sustaining decisions. Blessings on your life and your work.
Somehow this made me tear up standing in line for a coffee at a train station in Dublin. It was so sensitively, kindly and quietly written - or maybe that’s exactly how I needed to read it. Having loved the podcast, I could hear your voice reading it. Thank you for it. As always x
Always loved your innate way of experiencing the depths of someone’s personal journey and writing your responses so eloquently. I have often taken small snippets from Dear Sugar in the past to speak to my own life, my own needed girlfriend to give me the sage advice needed at the time. You Are The Solid is now who I know I have become, even though I haven’t physically walked away yet from my marriage of 25 years. Change happens to us all whether we stay or go. When loss appears in its various forms, it can shape us into the solid we need with a bit of pliability for our own needs. Thank you again Sugar Strayed
Wow - what insights! So affirming to hear that you don’t go into it ‘all knowing’ and that you always find them so hard. Explains why it feels like you are ‘talking’ when reading - feels so personal and so deep. Incredible. Thank you for sharing x
Immediately burst into tears... Met you in person at the Alberta Rose Theater, right about that 10 years ago when Tiny Beautiful Things came out. You signed my copy, gave me the same advice about being a writer as one of the letters in the book. I still have it, read it a million times. Writing Like A Mthrfkr is still in line behind job, kids, dogs, husband. But she's there and I'll never forget. I haven't read a reply from Ms. Sugar yet that didn't seem to have all the answers, so there's that. And yes, look at the beautiful Orb Weavers, they are laying their last clutch of eggs. And then they perish, possibly without every getting published. Love them...
What a lovely offering. I need to point out that audio is only accessible to your hearing subscribers, not the Deaf or Hard of Hearing (who traditionally have had limited because of access to resources because of audism)
I hope you will consider a transcript for those of us in the Deaf community.
I don't know how you do it - how you make every question that intially seems so HARD when I read it (or this time, when you read it to me) so perfectly, beautifully "answerable". AND I don't need to know how. I am just so grateful that you do what you do and that somewhere along the way I found you. Such a gift to us all.... your words...... Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this story about you father. I can relate because my Dad was the exact opposite of my Mom. I really couldn’t stand him, but my Mom asked me to look after him the day before she died. Even though she filed for divorce 3 times. He would go into the VA hospital for manic depression. My Mom always ended up staying with his sorry ass. She knew there was no way in hell my sister would do anything to help him after she was gone. My brother had mental health issues and he wasn’t a fan of my father either. My Dad’s brother who lived a few blocks away said, he didn’t deserve to have Kathleen (my Mom) as his wife. To say my father was wildly unpopular with my Mom’s friends and relatives would be true. I ended up helping care for him when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It was in Aug 1994 -Jan 2002 when he died. I called my sister to tell her he died. She said something about him being an asshole and how she didn’t want him buried anywhere near our Mom. His current wife donated his body to science. No funeral, no celebration of life because it turns out you need to be missed by someone to have those things. I did actually cry some when he died. I set up a few pictures of him on the table at my house in Berkeley and lit a candle. I have a few good memories of him and some abusive traumatic memories too. I hope his soul evolves and he learns to be a better person if there is such a thing as being reincarnated.
Thank you for this newsletter. The letters and your replies linger with me for quite some time after I’m done reading them. Through them I find new perspectives.
Dear Sugar means a lot to me. I know I’m not alone in that sentiment.
I wonder how you'll answer that mother. I like that you know it's an impossible question, yet are still brave enough to take it on. I hope your words bring her some comfort.
Cheryl--thank you for the image of the door behind which I've been crouching for over 50 years, and for showing me that I've been the strength in my own life-sustaining decisions. Blessings on your life and your work.
Somehow this made me tear up standing in line for a coffee at a train station in Dublin. It was so sensitively, kindly and quietly written - or maybe that’s exactly how I needed to read it. Having loved the podcast, I could hear your voice reading it. Thank you for it. As always x
Always loved your innate way of experiencing the depths of someone’s personal journey and writing your responses so eloquently. I have often taken small snippets from Dear Sugar in the past to speak to my own life, my own needed girlfriend to give me the sage advice needed at the time. You Are The Solid is now who I know I have become, even though I haven’t physically walked away yet from my marriage of 25 years. Change happens to us all whether we stay or go. When loss appears in its various forms, it can shape us into the solid we need with a bit of pliability for our own needs. Thank you again Sugar Strayed
Wow - what insights! So affirming to hear that you don’t go into it ‘all knowing’ and that you always find them so hard. Explains why it feels like you are ‘talking’ when reading - feels so personal and so deep. Incredible. Thank you for sharing x
Your words are beautiful and make the world feel friendlier 💕
Your words are always a comfort. Thank you
Immediately burst into tears... Met you in person at the Alberta Rose Theater, right about that 10 years ago when Tiny Beautiful Things came out. You signed my copy, gave me the same advice about being a writer as one of the letters in the book. I still have it, read it a million times. Writing Like A Mthrfkr is still in line behind job, kids, dogs, husband. But she's there and I'll never forget. I haven't read a reply from Ms. Sugar yet that didn't seem to have all the answers, so there's that. And yes, look at the beautiful Orb Weavers, they are laying their last clutch of eggs. And then they perish, possibly without every getting published. Love them...
What a lovely offering. I need to point out that audio is only accessible to your hearing subscribers, not the Deaf or Hard of Hearing (who traditionally have had limited because of access to resources because of audism)
I hope you will consider a transcript for those of us in the Deaf community.
What a GIFT on my birthday! I’m in awe, and in love. Thank you for your powerful, poignant, beautiful words, Cheryl.
Also, that spider web! It looks like something out of Lord of The Rings!
So true, so beautifully said. ❤️
Love the web! Spiders are so creative. x
I don't know how you do it - how you make every question that intially seems so HARD when I read it (or this time, when you read it to me) so perfectly, beautifully "answerable". AND I don't need to know how. I am just so grateful that you do what you do and that somewhere along the way I found you. Such a gift to us all.... your words...... Thank you!