That thing about being chosen-- wanting it so desperately and being convinced you've maybe got only one shot. Is this universal for all people, or is it a particularly compelling narrative for women? I'm not really sure. But I know it motivated some of the most significant and maladaptive (because choosing out of fear never works out well) choices I've made in my life. I don't know if I'll ever completely kick that particular compulsion, but at least I'm learning to recognize it and give it a little breathing room so I don't act out of that desperate, yearning, fearful place in ways that take years to unravel. Because I just don't have that kind of time anymore.
Thank you for this, Cheryl. For sharing it and Wendy with us. I'll be reading King of the Armadillos during vacation, for sure.
Hi Asha, the being chosen and the only one shot is the hero's journey- which is for everyone -BUT! Women were not included -- until say the WONDER WOMAN MOVIE - she was playing the same role.
Right. That whole savior, chosen one narrative is gender inclusive for sure, though it has always smacked of a very patriarchal, individualistic take on being chosen to me. Which feels slightly different than the thing I'm talking about here, which is much more interpersonal.
Such a good interview!! So many helpful insights and suggestions. Thank you. Stories like these, both the father’s and the daughter’s, make me very hopeful for the future. I’m 75 and it’s very difficult these days for me to be optimistic for the future of my children and grandchildren. But this morning I am optimistic and will be ordering my copy of King of the Armadillos. Thank you.
Wow! This - "I realize now that beneath the voice of shame, fear was whispering, too. I was so afraid to fail that I interpreted one man’s no as a massive, life-altering failure. Listening to shame and fear led me to believe that I couldn’t do what I loved. But thankfully, that story didn’t turn out to be true." - resonates deeply and is a truth I must reckon with daily.
What an insightful and thoughtful interview. To me, Wendy's life lessons were relatable and could be true about many things. Too often I, too, have accepted people in my life because they approached me first (as her mismatched experience with her writing). I didn't think to look around, ask questions. This could apply to dating, job interviews, choosing doctors. It's taken me years to know learn what's best for me.
Her lesson from motherhood: we can continue doing things even when we don't feel we're great at it. So true. I've done many things I'm bad at... actually, laughably horrible. But I usually learn something or have story material.
Wendy's love for father and his experiences makes me want to read her book.
“I don’t know if I’m a position to offer advice to other people, but I can tell you what I tell myself pretty much every day.”
Prefaced with this kind of sincere humility, I had a feeling there would be some solid gold advice following it--and that it was. Thank you for this beautiful and timely reminder today.
“King of the Armadillos asks three core questions: How do we define family? How do we negotiate other people’s needs with our own? And how do we heal from trauma?” I love how clearly you can identify these questions Wendy. I’m definitely putting this on my list. My daughter was also born in 2007. Thanks for this interview Cheryl. I appreciate the reminders not to give up, to listen to our inner voice and to be kind to ourselves.
2014 I was mobility limited by feet and knees. Before then I'd been very active. During that same time I read "Wild" which depressed and impressed me. Despite having been a numbers guy (actuary) , I decided to write because of "Wild" inspiration and concern about my then limited physical activity (better now). My experience with writing lessons has convinced me not let an education ruin my writing. As of 2023 I have six hundred or so publications in several countries in all of the usual genres plus monser porn. This year I became an Amazon Worst Seller with two story collections "Weird Science" and "Vernonia Trilogy" about a real small town in NW Oregon and the fictitious people - a US President, a TV guru ala Oprah, and rock star that didn't die at 27. Perhaps the best part is "meeting" people at the publishers that publish me - Literally Stories, Fiction On The Web. Short Humour - despite being a left coaster, I'm plurality published in the UK.
Thank you so much for publishing this interview and bringing the novel some attention. As for the novel, I canʻt wait to read it and bring it to the attention of my communities here in Hawaiʻi, where many families I know have connections to Molokaʻi and Kalaupapa. Ordering a copy as soon as I finish this comment.
Fiction is the kind of writing that most scares me. Which probably makes it exactly the place I need to go. I think I could at least agree to some failed experiments. Isnʻt that how every baby learns to walk?
Wow, does this resonate with me: "beneath the voice of shame, fear was whispering, too."
Thank you for sharing Wendy Chin-Tanner's interview. Her words offer so much insight and comfort from her humble honesty. This whole interview gives me a lot to think about.
We were at a place that I think is called Twin Beaches? There are two beaches with a field in between. The water was uncharacteristically cold when we were there (according to my friends who live there), but wow, did it feel good once I made the plunge! It was my first time to Gabriola--what a gorgeous place!
It is such a special place! If you ever make your way back, reach out if you’re open to it. My friend has a cabin there and knows so many rad places to plunge— she’s Wim Hof certified and changes people’s lives guiding them through cold water.
Much love to you, Cheryl. You’ve inspired me in so much ways... including to walk the Te Araroa trail in NZ back in 2020 on my own as a 25-year old gal. xxx
Thanks for this inspiring interview. I too have put Wendy's novel on my reading list. And I was surprised to hear you mention Gabriola Island! My brother and his family live there and we visit regularly! Such a lovely peaceful place. And I suspect your friends know them because it's a very small community.
Thank you for posting this. I’m grateful for Windy Chin-Tanner sharing her journey of creativity and sometimes self doubt. I paint instead of using words but the experience of making art is similar. I’m looking forward to reading her new book.
That thing about being chosen-- wanting it so desperately and being convinced you've maybe got only one shot. Is this universal for all people, or is it a particularly compelling narrative for women? I'm not really sure. But I know it motivated some of the most significant and maladaptive (because choosing out of fear never works out well) choices I've made in my life. I don't know if I'll ever completely kick that particular compulsion, but at least I'm learning to recognize it and give it a little breathing room so I don't act out of that desperate, yearning, fearful place in ways that take years to unravel. Because I just don't have that kind of time anymore.
Thank you for this, Cheryl. For sharing it and Wendy with us. I'll be reading King of the Armadillos during vacation, for sure.
Hi Asha, the being chosen and the only one shot is the hero's journey- which is for everyone -BUT! Women were not included -- until say the WONDER WOMAN MOVIE - she was playing the same role.
Right. That whole savior, chosen one narrative is gender inclusive for sure, though it has always smacked of a very patriarchal, individualistic take on being chosen to me. Which feels slightly different than the thing I'm talking about here, which is much more interpersonal.
Indeed
“I was thrilled to be chosen, so thrilled that it didn’t occur to me that I had a choice, too.”
Things I wish I knew about dating in my 20s.
What a great interview, what lovely and thoughtful answers. Thank you.
Exactly what I thought. That's how I was with anyone who asked me out.
Such a good interview!! So many helpful insights and suggestions. Thank you. Stories like these, both the father’s and the daughter’s, make me very hopeful for the future. I’m 75 and it’s very difficult these days for me to be optimistic for the future of my children and grandchildren. But this morning I am optimistic and will be ordering my copy of King of the Armadillos. Thank you.
Wow! This - "I realize now that beneath the voice of shame, fear was whispering, too. I was so afraid to fail that I interpreted one man’s no as a massive, life-altering failure. Listening to shame and fear led me to believe that I couldn’t do what I loved. But thankfully, that story didn’t turn out to be true." - resonates deeply and is a truth I must reckon with daily.
Thank you.
Such a good interview, best I have read in ages. Wendy's answers / stories of what she has overcome to write as she does are so inspiring!
What an insightful and thoughtful interview. To me, Wendy's life lessons were relatable and could be true about many things. Too often I, too, have accepted people in my life because they approached me first (as her mismatched experience with her writing). I didn't think to look around, ask questions. This could apply to dating, job interviews, choosing doctors. It's taken me years to know learn what's best for me.
Her lesson from motherhood: we can continue doing things even when we don't feel we're great at it. So true. I've done many things I'm bad at... actually, laughably horrible. But I usually learn something or have story material.
Wendy's love for father and his experiences makes me want to read her book.
“I don’t know if I’m a position to offer advice to other people, but I can tell you what I tell myself pretty much every day.”
Prefaced with this kind of sincere humility, I had a feeling there would be some solid gold advice following it--and that it was. Thank you for this beautiful and timely reminder today.
“King of the Armadillos asks three core questions: How do we define family? How do we negotiate other people’s needs with our own? And how do we heal from trauma?” I love how clearly you can identify these questions Wendy. I’m definitely putting this on my list. My daughter was also born in 2007. Thanks for this interview Cheryl. I appreciate the reminders not to give up, to listen to our inner voice and to be kind to ourselves.
2014 I was mobility limited by feet and knees. Before then I'd been very active. During that same time I read "Wild" which depressed and impressed me. Despite having been a numbers guy (actuary) , I decided to write because of "Wild" inspiration and concern about my then limited physical activity (better now). My experience with writing lessons has convinced me not let an education ruin my writing. As of 2023 I have six hundred or so publications in several countries in all of the usual genres plus monser porn. This year I became an Amazon Worst Seller with two story collections "Weird Science" and "Vernonia Trilogy" about a real small town in NW Oregon and the fictitious people - a US President, a TV guru ala Oprah, and rock star that didn't die at 27. Perhaps the best part is "meeting" people at the publishers that publish me - Literally Stories, Fiction On The Web. Short Humour - despite being a left coaster, I'm plurality published in the UK.
That's Doug Hawley - ?&^% - her name comes up because of Facebook which we ignore.
https://sites.google.com/site/aberrantword/
https://doug.car.blog/
https://doug.ir/ (interesting story - my friend Maysam Kandej is building a Tehran websit of my writing
Thank you so much for publishing this interview and bringing the novel some attention. As for the novel, I canʻt wait to read it and bring it to the attention of my communities here in Hawaiʻi, where many families I know have connections to Molokaʻi and Kalaupapa. Ordering a copy as soon as I finish this comment.
Fiction is the kind of writing that most scares me. Which probably makes it exactly the place I need to go. I think I could at least agree to some failed experiments. Isnʻt that how every baby learns to walk?
Wow, does this resonate with me: "beneath the voice of shame, fear was whispering, too."
Thank you for sharing Wendy Chin-Tanner's interview. Her words offer so much insight and comfort from her humble honesty. This whole interview gives me a lot to think about.
Cheryl, where did you cold plunge on Gabriola Island? Love to plunge there!
We were at a place that I think is called Twin Beaches? There are two beaches with a field in between. The water was uncharacteristically cold when we were there (according to my friends who live there), but wow, did it feel good once I made the plunge! It was my first time to Gabriola--what a gorgeous place!
It is such a special place! If you ever make your way back, reach out if you’re open to it. My friend has a cabin there and knows so many rad places to plunge— she’s Wim Hof certified and changes people’s lives guiding them through cold water.
Much love to you, Cheryl. You’ve inspired me in so much ways... including to walk the Te Araroa trail in NZ back in 2020 on my own as a 25-year old gal. xxx
Thanks for this inspiring interview. I too have put Wendy's novel on my reading list. And I was surprised to hear you mention Gabriola Island! My brother and his family live there and we visit regularly! Such a lovely peaceful place. And I suspect your friends know them because it's a very small community.
I loved reading Wendy’s answers. The agent story is chilling and sadly describes an all-too-common experience for emerging writers.
Thank you for posting this. I’m grateful for Windy Chin-Tanner sharing her journey of creativity and sometimes self doubt. I paint instead of using words but the experience of making art is similar. I’m looking forward to reading her new book.
Can’t wait to read King of tge Armadillos!