I had cancer at age 40 and worried about a recurrence for 10 years. Then guess what despite my fear I got it again at age 50…but now here I sit at 62 no cancer (yet) and a cancer gene. I too have many early cancer/deaths in my family. At 50 I finally stopped worrying…weirdly I started understanding worry or not I’m going to have it or not have it. Worrying served no purpose and was only betting against myself and guess what? Partner at my side has not left and our relationship is stronger.
Thank you for your beautiful words that remind us oh so well how very human and beautiful and crazy we all are. You capture the crazy us so well and you remind us to cherish and nourish our beloved selves. You are loved so much. Thank you thank you thank you, Jennifer
As a kid, I watched a movie about an athlete who got bone cancer and had his leg amputated, and then I carried a fear that it would happen to me like that. And after hearing so much about AIDS, I held a fear I would die of AIDS. There are other examples, and they all came after my dad was diagnosed w/ melanoma. I feared I would die of melanoma. I held all these fears secretly in myself, afraid to tell anyone. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I began healing around my inner secret death sentence. I discovered that I was scared and sad and needed support/permission to grieve, which wasn't available in my life, so it became internalized. Shame and punishment were replacing my natural need to just be sad and scared about my dad, and by extension to feel compassion for all the people who actually were suffering and dying. I'm SO GLAD that you have this forum, Cheryl! I know from experience how freeing it is to just be able to share our experiences with someone who can listen and respond in honest kindness. I hope your response to this woman helps her become free inside herself to LIVE.
You know when you’re in the car and your seatbelt seizes on you because it thinks you’re in trouble but you’re not, so you give it a little more slack, tug again, and it only gets tighter? I didn’t realize I’d been feeling that way until I read your words, “You’re here. So be here, dear one.” Instantly the belt loosened. Thank you for this. And thank you for supporting virtual attendees for your workshop - I’ll be there!
I put off reading Wild for some time because I thought it might be boring. When I did read it I was totally captivated. Your story was so honest, a rare trait. I wanted to know you so when I found out about Substack I jumped at the chance to join. Your Dear Sugar letters have been just as honest as you. I related to this letter in particular. Now I have a name for my free floating anxiety, Crazy Lady. Thanks for this great letter.
Looking forward to reading the new edition of TBT! I wasn't able to read your first book for many years because it came out the same year my mother died. And, even though I was left on the cutting room floor, I was thrilled to do my 2 scenes in Wild and meet you on-set. I've been a big, big fan of yours for years, since I read the 'waitress' piece in the Ten Tiny Dances performance with our mutual pal, Miss B. I'm glad I'm able to stay connected to your wisdom and heart via this newsletter. 💖
I Had a mammogram appointment today an the nurse said that I look super nervous. I told her that The Crazy Lady in my head is telling me all sort of things right now. She also said to get rid of her asap!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I needed this!! I am 47 and just lost my dad to Alzheimer’s disease after a 10 year uphill battle. My inner crazy lady has diagnosed me with Alz every time I forget a name or struggle with finding a word. Thanks for the perspective, as always, Cheryl. 💜
Thank you, Sugar, for giving a name to that crazy lady in my head too. She is loud, and insistent, and obnoxious, and--I always assume--right. From now on I will try to ask her where she got her information from.
I needed this very much, thank you. My crazy lady has been very loud these last few months. I think she’s gone somewhere to take a nap now. It’s easier to dismiss when I realize it’s the crazy lady and not me. I can’t thank you enough!
I had cancer at age 40 and worried about a recurrence for 10 years. Then guess what despite my fear I got it again at age 50…but now here I sit at 62 no cancer (yet) and a cancer gene. I too have many early cancer/deaths in my family. At 50 I finally stopped worrying…weirdly I started understanding worry or not I’m going to have it or not have it. Worrying served no purpose and was only betting against myself and guess what? Partner at my side has not left and our relationship is stronger.
Dear Cheryl
Thank you for your beautiful words that remind us oh so well how very human and beautiful and crazy we all are. You capture the crazy us so well and you remind us to cherish and nourish our beloved selves. You are loved so much. Thank you thank you thank you, Jennifer
As a kid, I watched a movie about an athlete who got bone cancer and had his leg amputated, and then I carried a fear that it would happen to me like that. And after hearing so much about AIDS, I held a fear I would die of AIDS. There are other examples, and they all came after my dad was diagnosed w/ melanoma. I feared I would die of melanoma. I held all these fears secretly in myself, afraid to tell anyone. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I began healing around my inner secret death sentence. I discovered that I was scared and sad and needed support/permission to grieve, which wasn't available in my life, so it became internalized. Shame and punishment were replacing my natural need to just be sad and scared about my dad, and by extension to feel compassion for all the people who actually were suffering and dying. I'm SO GLAD that you have this forum, Cheryl! I know from experience how freeing it is to just be able to share our experiences with someone who can listen and respond in honest kindness. I hope your response to this woman helps her become free inside herself to LIVE.
Thank you Sugar, I needed to read those words too. Love the reminders as often as I can get them.
You know when you’re in the car and your seatbelt seizes on you because it thinks you’re in trouble but you’re not, so you give it a little more slack, tug again, and it only gets tighter? I didn’t realize I’d been feeling that way until I read your words, “You’re here. So be here, dear one.” Instantly the belt loosened. Thank you for this. And thank you for supporting virtual attendees for your workshop - I’ll be there!
Wait! You knew about my crazy lady?? I thought I was hiding her so well.
❤️
I put off reading Wild for some time because I thought it might be boring. When I did read it I was totally captivated. Your story was so honest, a rare trait. I wanted to know you so when I found out about Substack I jumped at the chance to join. Your Dear Sugar letters have been just as honest as you. I related to this letter in particular. Now I have a name for my free floating anxiety, Crazy Lady. Thanks for this great letter.
Looking forward to reading the new edition of TBT! I wasn't able to read your first book for many years because it came out the same year my mother died. And, even though I was left on the cutting room floor, I was thrilled to do my 2 scenes in Wild and meet you on-set. I've been a big, big fan of yours for years, since I read the 'waitress' piece in the Ten Tiny Dances performance with our mutual pal, Miss B. I'm glad I'm able to stay connected to your wisdom and heart via this newsletter. 💖
I Had a mammogram appointment today an the nurse said that I look super nervous. I told her that The Crazy Lady in my head is telling me all sort of things right now. She also said to get rid of her asap!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I needed this!! I am 47 and just lost my dad to Alzheimer’s disease after a 10 year uphill battle. My inner crazy lady has diagnosed me with Alz every time I forget a name or struggle with finding a word. Thanks for the perspective, as always, Cheryl. 💜
I’ll thank you a million times for all you’ve helped me surpass. And I thank you for this.
Thank you, Sugar, for giving a name to that crazy lady in my head too. She is loud, and insistent, and obnoxious, and--I always assume--right. From now on I will try to ask her where she got her information from.
this is beautiful. thank you for sharing as always. i love all of this.
some specific things i love (out of the all of it that i love):
"You are loved even if some people don’t love you."
"You are a mortal being like every human and June bug, like every black bear and salmon."
"That mystery is not the curse of our existence; it’s the wonder."
"You’re here. So be here, dear one. You’re okay with us for now."
thank you for it all!
Takes for this reminder. I'm sending my crazy lady to the spa today. She needs a break and so do I
Living. Sleeping. Dreaming. Dying. All one.
Buddah
I needed this very much, thank you. My crazy lady has been very loud these last few months. I think she’s gone somewhere to take a nap now. It’s easier to dismiss when I realize it’s the crazy lady and not me. I can’t thank you enough!